'you're STUPID!'

Hearing test
Originally uploaded by Ben McLeod

The boys had their 3 and 5-year-old check-ups last Thursday and are doing brilliantly (as we are all well aware!).

For the record, Liam weighed in at exactly 38 pounds and 42 inches tall. Camper was 30.25 pounds and 36.5 inches. Should we start making bets now? Will Camper be the bigger of the two? At what point will he catch up? When will he suddenly be 10 pounds heavier?

The clinic only had nasal flu vaccines, so I had to make a choice; seasonal or H1N1. I went with H1N1. We need to go back in a month for the seasonal vaccine.

Additionally, Liam got part two of his Hep-A vaccine. I've written about it before, and many of you have witnessed his reaction to large splinters - so imagine his reaction to the splinter - now multiply by like a gazillion.

I had to plead and cajole with him, and finally, we were engaged in wrestling match right there in the doctor's office. I was amazed at his strength. I ended up putting him in a big bear hug while the MA gave him the shot in his shoulder. He yelled, "you're stupid!" the moment the needle went in - to no one in particular, but he later told me that he did, in fact, direct that word at me.

Other than that one outburst, both boys behaved beyond expectations. The doctor even commented on how well-behaved they were for 3 and 5-year-old-boys. Holy shit. I'm the father of a 3-year-old and a 5-year-old.

When did that happen?

THREE!!

busted .. again
Originally uploaded by Ben McLeod

Yesterday was Camper's THIRD birthday.

It was three years ago today...

We had a pretty chill day. Camper and I went for a ride to the playground so that he could get in a birthday swing, then we had some people over.

A relaxed third birthday.

Some pictures of my boy:

- Campbell; week-by-week
- World, meet Benton Campbell McLeod
- Campbell, the complete collection

one of those days

Camper woke up crying today at 7 am and pretty much cried all day; look at him wrong, don't share a toy, share a toy, it didn't matter, he was a screamer. Liam wanted nothing but to either watch TV, "do his work" (Liam refers to playing on the computer as "doing my work") or eat chocolate chips and/or some gross-ass popsicles (that Nikki bought last weekend. "Slow Melt" popsicles?! What the fuck is that!? It can't be good for you!).

It's eleven pm and Camper finally stopped running around about 45 minutes ago. I've barely had a minute to myself all day. They wouldn't play outside unless I was with them. They wouldn't play (nicely) inside unless I was with them. I couldn't even go to the bathroom without Camper following me and pounding on the door (if I dared shut it!).

I tried taking them to the library for the reading time this morning, but Camper was such a little asshole, we had to leave. He was screaming, yelling, throwing books, grabbing things from other kids, and crawling up on the table. It was really great. I was the father of that kid.

It's only Tuesday, but I'm already starting to go batty. I get tweets from a twitter-bot that lists all the beers on tap in PDX I get tweets from BikePortland describing all the fun Pedalpalooza events ... and I get to hang out in Hillsboro with a 2-year-old and a 4-year-old (we're still carless, so the only way into PDX is on the MAX, which is fine, but not realistic with the boys and any bikes).

Today was one of those days where I had to keep reminding (and trying to convince) myself that I'm one of the lucky ones. Most dads don't get to see this much of thier children....

Tomorrow will be better.

glimmers of humanity

'yeah, my bike's got tassles...'
Originally uploaded by Ben McLeod

Yesterday I witnessed an act by my son that I believe every parent would want to watch their child do.

While crossing the swinging bridge-thing, a little girl behind Camper stumbled and nearly fell off. Camper let out a gasp, and quickly moved in to help. He handed her a bar, and then held it steady while she pulled herself on. After that, he walked slowly across the bridge with her to make sure she was OK.

Once it was clear that she was across the bridge and OK, he quickly resumed his rambunctious, and potentially hazardous play.

It wasn't a huge deal, but sometimes it's the very little things that matter the most.

Those glimmers of humanity.

my little punk

'I go ousside!'
Originally uploaded by Ben McLeod

Camper has taken up a charming new way of letting his displeasure be known.

Sticking his tongue out and zurburtting at you - and if you're close enough, he'll take a swing at you. He's deadly serious when he does it, which frankly, makes it all the cuter, and therefore harder to punish (it's hard for the kids to believe you are serious when you're half-laughing).

I'm trying my best to ignore it, but I'm not sure that's the best approach.

He's a tough little guy with a strong personality who won't back down for anything or anyone.I don't think he should have any problems with the McLeod Clan motto: Hold Fast. The Clan Crest is a bullhead between two flag poles with red flags and the motto Hold fast.

Up

We took the kids to see Up in 3D last night. As usual, Pixar knocked it out of the park.

I had heard that the first half-hour-or-so is a bit sad, and may be too much for little kids. We needn't have worried; the whole death thing was lost on them. Pixar does such a masterful job of telling a story on two levels; one for the adults and one for the children. I was choked up by tears of sadness over death, and dreams never fulfilled, while Liam was choked up laughing at poor little Carl fall through the creaky board in the old house.

Watching it in 3D offers a strange and somewhat disconcerting experience. It wasn't like "traditional" 3D movies where things appear to be popping OUT of the screen. It was more like looking INTO a moving diorama. The edge of the screen appeared to be about twenty feet from the wall. I'm not really sure if I liked it or not. The 3D glasses were a bit heavy and felt odd piled on top of my glasses (Liam said to me, as I was sitting down, "Daddy, you should have worn your contacts!"). Liam wore his for about 75% of the movie, while Camper barely wore his.

It was a great movie with wonderful characters, amazing animation and a fun-filled adventure to tie it all together.

"Won't you please be my prisoner, please please please!"

These days are long

Today, the boys and I had a good day. No one had any major meltdowns - we went to the playground, we went for a bike ride, we went to the pool. We even went to Baker's Burgers.

Not every day is like today. Yesterday was one of those days.

It was one of those days that ended with a meltdown from daddy. I had had enough. Campbell actually tripped the fuse to the upstairs four times. Four fucking times! How many times do I have to yell and scream, "stop playing with the light switch!" The third time he did it, I smacked his ass. The fourth time I put him across my lap and actually spanked him.

I then proceeded to freak out on the two boys, having a breakdown over the mess they've been making, how they're not listening to me... the whole thing. It was lovely. It made me feel great.

Everything I feel when I'm having a "moment" is nothing new to parenting. I'm not the first person to experience it. I know this... but it doesn't make it any better.

I'm constantly questioning what I'm doing, and if I'm doing all the right things. Am I pushing my kids too hard? Not hard enough?

Liam is a smart kid and has an insatiable intellectual curiosity. He's constantly spelling out words and adding up numbers. He likes to write words down, and can even Google the stuff he's interested in. Star Wars. Spiderman. I want to encourage his development without pushing him.

He's also an incredible biker and has been unstoppable since we re-removed the training wheels from his bike and he figured out how to start himself a few weeks ago. He's really good, and he's really capable, and again, I want to encourage his development without pushing him.

Our biggest problem is Liam's addiction to "screen" (TV, computer, iPhone... it makes no difference to the digital generation). He's constantly asking if he can watch a show or do his "work" (computer time). When I say no he whines, cries, kicks and even screams. Sometimes it's really bad.

The answer is to get rid of the TV and computer. The TV would not (will not) be a problem. Not at all. The computer? The problem here is, daddy is also addicted.

We're about to head out on the road and it's looking like no one wants to buy my desktop so I can afford a laptop - so Liam and I may be going cold turkey together!

I gotta go pee!

(It's almost 11:30pm and) I was just in the boys' bathroom using the toilet when the door to their room popped open. It was a sweaty-headed Camper.

He looked at me and said, "I gotta go pee!"

So I peeled off his pajamas and (dry) diapers and plopped him up on the toilet. Within moments he was peeing.

When he finished, he hopped down, looked at me and said, "now I gotta get some watey."