what's wrong with you?

me_beard
Originally uploaded by Ben McLeod

Last week, I used this beard picture of me as my Facebook icon.

I got several comments that said something to the extent of, "Wolverine!"

A little history
The picture was taken in the spring of 1994 by my father in my dressing room, backstage at Western State College. I had grown the beard out for a part in a play. I was playing Snug in A Midsummer Night's Dream.

This was the last night of the show, and I was going to shave.

But first, I was going to have a little fun...

Flash-forward fifteen years
A few days after posting the beard picture, I switched my Facebook icon to my awesome, super-suave mustachioed self (from fifteen years in the past!).

Within hours, I received this Facebook message from my mother.

subject: what's wrong with you?
You look like you are out of your mind. Is that the image you want? Or have you lost it?

Oh, Mom.

I love you.



... But I think we all know that I lost it a long time ago. That fact aside, I was just trying to have a little fun, and, as we all know, it's always easiest to have fun at one's own expense...

a followup...

mr. mcleod
Originally uploaded by Walsh

I was going to edit my post from yesterday, but then I decided that a) if you've already read the post, you wouldn't know about the changes (as if you'd really care that much) and b) that's what a blog is for. A mostly unedited, unfiltered mess.

For that, my dear readers, I apologize. But that's how we('ll) roll on this here bloggy blog.

A mostly unedited, unfiltered mess.

It'll be hard for the editor in me to deal with, but it should be a good exercise (something like, no more than 5 edits per post).

Welcome to my life.

A mostly unedited, unfiltered mess.

These days are long

Today, the boys and I had a good day. No one had any major meltdowns - we went to the playground, we went for a bike ride, we went to the pool. We even went to Baker's Burgers.

Not every day is like today. Yesterday was one of those days.

It was one of those days that ended with a meltdown from daddy. I had had enough. Campbell actually tripped the fuse to the upstairs four times. Four fucking times! How many times do I have to yell and scream, "stop playing with the light switch!" The third time he did it, I smacked his ass. The fourth time I put him across my lap and actually spanked him.

I then proceeded to freak out on the two boys, having a breakdown over the mess they've been making, how they're not listening to me... the whole thing. It was lovely. It made me feel great.

Everything I feel when I'm having a "moment" is nothing new to parenting. I'm not the first person to experience it. I know this... but it doesn't make it any better.

I'm constantly questioning what I'm doing, and if I'm doing all the right things. Am I pushing my kids too hard? Not hard enough?

Liam is a smart kid and has an insatiable intellectual curiosity. He's constantly spelling out words and adding up numbers. He likes to write words down, and can even Google the stuff he's interested in. Star Wars. Spiderman. I want to encourage his development without pushing him.

He's also an incredible biker and has been unstoppable since we re-removed the training wheels from his bike and he figured out how to start himself a few weeks ago. He's really good, and he's really capable, and again, I want to encourage his development without pushing him.

Our biggest problem is Liam's addiction to "screen" (TV, computer, iPhone... it makes no difference to the digital generation). He's constantly asking if he can watch a show or do his "work" (computer time). When I say no he whines, cries, kicks and even screams. Sometimes it's really bad.

The answer is to get rid of the TV and computer. The TV would not (will not) be a problem. Not at all. The computer? The problem here is, daddy is also addicted.

We're about to head out on the road and it's looking like no one wants to buy my desktop so I can afford a laptop - so Liam and I may be going cold turkey together!

I gotta go pee!

(It's almost 11:30pm and) I was just in the boys' bathroom using the toilet when the door to their room popped open. It was a sweaty-headed Camper.

He looked at me and said, "I gotta go pee!"

So I peeled off his pajamas and (dry) diapers and plopped him up on the toilet. Within moments he was peeing.

When he finished, he hopped down, looked at me and said, "now I gotta get some watey."

Craigslist scam

I posted my computer on Craigslist yesterday, despite the warning from the folks at the Apple Store to skip it and go straight to eBay. I've received a couple of inquires, one of which was simply, "Is this item still for sale?" I responded in the affirmative, and about an hour later received the following email:

Hi Seller, I am serious in buying this item that you listed and i want
you to remove the advert from craigslist,i have much interest in it
and want it to be sent to my son abroad who is currently in his final
year in school in ancient university in west Africa, and i am willing
and able to buy the item through my paypal account, so please kindly
get back to me with your paypal email address so that i can pay for
the item and i will include $220 for the shipping via (EMS) GLOBAL
EXPRESS MAIL USPS.Please if this is acceptable to you,kindly send your
full name and your contact information and PayPal email address so
that i can proceed with the payment via PayPal.

i live at 37 Stonehenge CirApt 8, Pikesville Md 21208,

Thanks i will be looking forward to hear from you.

kelly handsome

I know this is a scam, but I'm just not sure how. If they put $3000 plus the $220 for shipping in my PayPal account, how are they scamming me? My guess is that it would probably cost around $200 - $300 to ship it to Africa, so they aren't making any money that way.

What's the deal here? How does this work in their favor? Do many people fall for "Hi Seller" (especially when receiving a response to an email they signed their name to)? What's up with "this item?" Doesn't that just scream SCAM!?

Has anyone had any experience with this sort of thing?

Things I've heard from a four-year-old... [Part 1]

• My brain tells me I need to watch more television - and not a edunacational show!
• My stomach tells me it needs ice cream.
• You're not the boss of me. My brain is.
• I'm the boss of my bike, which means I control where it goes, so you can't tell me which way to go!
• What's inside a bug?
• Why doesn't it hurt when it rains? It falls from WAY up.
  
• Girls don't have penises. They pee out of their butts.
• You're not my daddy!
• I do not like your attitude!
• Daddy, if you let me watch a fighting show you will get a box of all the camera gear you want.... and sushi...
• Camper! Do no damage!

[Stay-tuned] There will be more...

in case you were wondering...

Houston, we have an addrenaline junkie!
Originally uploaded by Ben McLeod

...I'm enjoying myself.

The past couple of weeks without Nikki have been tough - and given me a huge amount of respect for single parents - but I've managed to enjoy myself.

I'm really glad that we made the decision to have me stay with the boys full-time. It's tough financially, and there are moments when I want to cry (oh wait, I've done that...) and scream (and that...), but I know that in the long-run this is the best thing for everyone. I get to see my boys grow up.... and they get to hang out with me, the coolest guy ever...

Despite the fact that we're car[e]free, the boys and I went into Portland today (we rode the MAX - suck it George Will) to take in the Rose Festival Carnival.

It was free admission, and the rides were just two bucks each. The problem was, Camper was too small for most of the rides, which meant Liam would ride alone and I'd have to stay with a kicking and screaming two-and-a-half-year-old. When he did get to ride, he was into it. He showed his big brother how to do the crazy bungee-jumper, easily going twice as high as Liam had, all while screaming, "I Iron Man!"

We sucked down some carnival food and headed home. Upon arriving at home, we hopped on our bikes and rode around the neighborhood, meandering our way to the pool for a late afternoon/early evening swim.

I wouldn't trade today for a "real job" ever.

There will be time for that later...

Mac Pro for sale

Mac Pro for sale
Originally uploaded by Ben McLeod

I'm selling my computer (and monitor... and speakers).

It's an Apple Mac Pro with 2.66 GHz Dual-Core Intel Xeon, 3GB RAM (expandable to 16 GB) and two 500 GB hard-drives.

It has two DVD-RW "SuperDrives," a bunch of USB and Firewire ports, WiFi and Bluetooth (the mouse and keyboard are Bluetooth).

The display is a 24-inch Apple Cinema HD and is beautiful. It also has a bunch of USB and Firewire ports.

The speakers are JBL Creatures and match the aluminum finish of the computer and display.

I love this computer (I polish the monitor and aluminum at least once a month with iKlear...), but if our gypsy thing is going to work, I need to downsize. My plan is to sell this set up and buy a 17-inch MacBook Pro.

I'd really like to sell it to someone who will love it and care for it the way I have.

Interested? Send me an email. I'm going to list it on eBay in a day-or-so, but I thought I'd see if anyone in my "social-networking" circle was interested first.

crimson [and] clover [over and over]

a crowd
Originally uploaded by Ben McLeod

I've been a bit obsessed with clover recently.

Trifolium incarnatum to be precise.

It began a couple of months ago when I noticed that it was growing in many of the fields that had wheat in them last summer. About a month ago I noticed that this clover seemed to grow taller than the clover I'm used to.

And it has gigantic leaves, such that, when viewed as a whole present a lush, verdant field undulating under the ripples of wind that move across them. I'd be riding my bike on roads with acres and acres of the stuff all around and would find myself starting at it.

A couple of weeks ago, they flowers started to bloom. Slowly, at first, but then, within a few days, the giant, green fields turned to a reddish-purple. While out riding, I stopped and took some pictures in midday sun, with my phone, but I knew I'd have to come back in better light.

Last Friday, at sunset, I went out to capture that golden hour glow in the fields. Standing in the midst of them made me feel like Horton looking for the Whos (I always wondered why he didn't simply leave the clover they were on in the midst of all the other clover - seemed like a safe place to me...).

I believe the clover is planted for the hay, but according to this web site "the main reason is to provide biologically–fixed nitrogen" to the soil.