These days are long

Today, the boys and I had a good day. No one had any major meltdowns - we went to the playground, we went for a bike ride, we went to the pool. We even went to Baker's Burgers.

Not every day is like today. Yesterday was one of those days.

It was one of those days that ended with a meltdown from daddy. I had had enough. Campbell actually tripped the fuse to the upstairs four times. Four fucking times! How many times do I have to yell and scream, "stop playing with the light switch!" The third time he did it, I smacked his ass. The fourth time I put him across my lap and actually spanked him.

I then proceeded to freak out on the two boys, having a breakdown over the mess they've been making, how they're not listening to me... the whole thing. It was lovely. It made me feel great.

Everything I feel when I'm having a "moment" is nothing new to parenting. I'm not the first person to experience it. I know this... but it doesn't make it any better.

I'm constantly questioning what I'm doing, and if I'm doing all the right things. Am I pushing my kids too hard? Not hard enough?

Liam is a smart kid and has an insatiable intellectual curiosity. He's constantly spelling out words and adding up numbers. He likes to write words down, and can even Google the stuff he's interested in. Star Wars. Spiderman. I want to encourage his development without pushing him.

He's also an incredible biker and has been unstoppable since we re-removed the training wheels from his bike and he figured out how to start himself a few weeks ago. He's really good, and he's really capable, and again, I want to encourage his development without pushing him.

Our biggest problem is Liam's addiction to "screen" (TV, computer, iPhone... it makes no difference to the digital generation). He's constantly asking if he can watch a show or do his "work" (computer time). When I say no he whines, cries, kicks and even screams. Sometimes it's really bad.

The answer is to get rid of the TV and computer. The TV would not (will not) be a problem. Not at all. The computer? The problem here is, daddy is also addicted.

We're about to head out on the road and it's looking like no one wants to buy my desktop so I can afford a laptop - so Liam and I may be going cold turkey together!